


Smaller Units of Time

by mycacoeths



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: AU, Angst, F/M, Goodbyes, Shallurangst, coping mechanism for whatever happened back there, shallura - Freeform, soft angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-29 18:37:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17208776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mycacoeths/pseuds/mycacoeths
Summary: [In a reality where Shiro and Allura were to be endgame] Shiro has to say goodbye





	Smaller Units of Time

 

* * *

“Allura, wait…” the words die in the space between him and her. Suddenly his head feels heavy and hot. His heart beats a thousand times per minute, but his body is still as he waits for her to turn around.

Shiro has never been selfish in his life. Not when he was asked to share his crayons, not when a child needed his protection and guidance, not when a mission asked for him despite his sickness, not when he watched his friend get put in the front lines of a Galran gladiator match, and not when the universe asked for him to pilot a lion. He always thought of the bigger picture, not himself. Never himself.

Not until now, as he stares at the back of her head through the mist of magic that surrounds them, hoping she would turn back around. He doesn’t think about the realities, he doesn’t think about the consequences— all he thinks about is her.

She turns, slowly and carefully. He watches her take a deep inhale as she faces him. She holds the breath in.

Her voice comes out small as she chokes out a “Yes…?”

He swallows. He never thought she’d turn around, but he hoped. Now all eyes are on him, waiting. The very fate of the universe rests on her shoulders, and yet here he is, stopping her, for what? She’s about to readily sacrifice herself for the sake of everything, and yet he hinders her as he stands there, mouth agape and fingers twitching indecisively.

Just as he gathers the courage to, she had already beaten him to it. In two longs strides, Allura launches herself into him, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face into his chest. Shiro’s frigid figure melts and he brings up his hands to engulf her into a hug. Warm tears race down his face and he shuts his eyes in an effort to stop himself. It’s fruitless.

All at once, it was just him and her. The others seem to have vanished, but the faint sound of Pidge’s sobs in the distance assures him that they were in no trouble. But the isolation breaks him down even more, and he lets out a choked sound, “Don’t go,”

Allura whimpers.

“Please,” he begs. The feeling is different, but natural all at once. The desperation courses through his veins as he holds her close to him, feeling her figure shake, “Please, Allura, I— I can’t— I can’t lose you— not you, just—,”

Through her own tears, she shushes him. She pulls back from his embrace and brings her hands up to wipe the wet lines away from his cheeks. He leans into her touch and stares at her lips, her nose, her chin; anything but her eyes. He can’t bear to look at her eyes. Not now, not when—

“Shiro,” she whispers, running her fingers through the battle-tousled hair on his head. Shapes are traced on his jaw as she struggles with words, “You can never… lose me.”

Shiro whines helplessly. He feels his chest burning. His head pounds in frustration at the thought of the inevitability of the situation. “I can’t—,”

“You can,” she assures him, already knowing what he wants to say. A soft smile is painted on her lips but her eyes hold a sadness Shiro has yet to see. “Look at me.”

He doesn’t. It takes a caress on the cheek for him to do so. When he does, the sensation of everything inside him being destroyed overtakes his being. He is weak, his knees wobble and he feels faint. Her smile undoes everything in him. “You can. You are the strongest person I have ever met—,”

“Only because of you.”

“That doesn’t need to change,” she tells him. “Nothing needs to change.”

Shiro searches for something in her eyes— a sign, a shift that will tell him that this is all part of a plan where she doesn’t need to go and offer her entire being for the cosmos— but there is nothing. He bites his lip and brings his hands up to touch her hair. His fingers slide down her temples to her cheeks where he brushes them over her marks.

Her expression changes to one of false strength to undeniable pain as he traces a soft line down her jaw and on to her lips. The gesture was soft. He was memorizing the the way she felt, the way she looked; every detail of her that he has ever adored in the short amount that he can. He packs in what he’d planned to do years after the war into mere seconds. He lies to himself that seconds are a million other smaller units of time; counts in ticks to make things last longer.

He lets out a shaky breath as his hands come to a rest on her neck. He brushes his thumbs on the line of her jaw and leans in to press his lips on hers. She meets him halfway just as eagerly and kisses him softly, tenderly— like she’ll never see him again.

He won’t.

See her again. Surely, holograms and statues are due to be up in her honor, but hollow idols will never capture the true essence of her. Nothing else can ever capture the true essence of Allura but Allura.

He is the one who breaks away, for he sobs on her lips. His hands shake as he pulls away. He looks into her eyes and the brightness that seems to be caused by the quintessence makes his chest tighten even more. “I— I wish we had more time.”

He revels in the feeling of her lips on his again for a chaste kiss. She whispers, voice raw, but fierce, “I love you.”

Shiro doesn’t say it back but he nods. He nods sharply, as if he were a soldier being asked if he understood. His lips turn upward as she gives him a soft smile and says it again, “I love you, Takashi.”

“I love you,” he says, finally. It’s been bundled up in his chest, never seeing the light of day because of the dark of the war. After all the moments he had held it off—every time he left for battle, every time he watched her put her life on the line, every time she smiled at him and looked at him with that fire that only seemed to emanate from her— he finally bares his soul. He opens the floodgates. “God, Allura, I love you so much.”

It is her turn to nod. There is a fondness in her gaze that renders him weak. “That will never change.”

And he agrees. “No. It won’t.”

“Thank you,” she whispers, placing a hand over his heart.

Shiro sniffles and smiles, his heart finding peace in her touch. He places his hand over hers, “You don’t ever have to thank me for anything.”

They share one last kiss before she pulls away and unlatches herself from him. In an instant, he is right back where he was before it was just the two of them. She is two strides away and everyone is waiting for him to say what he has to say.

He gives her a look. The same look she gave him when she threw him in that pod, the same look they share in moments of realization in battle planning, the same look they give one another when they make one other blush in the halls. “Thank you, princess.”

“Anything, Shiro,” she states. Her gaze is soft and fond as she looks over all the paladins and then hers. “Anything.”

**Author's Note:**

> szn ate crushed my soul my bbies deserved so much more 
> 
> come cry with me on tumblr: mycacoeths


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